Ladki โ€“ Mere hoth kitne khrab hain

Doctor โ€“ Plastic surgery kra lo

Ladki โ€“ kitne paise lagenge

Doctor โ€“ 6 lakh rupaye

Ladki โ€“ agar plastic main khud la du to

Doctor โ€“ fevicol bhi leti aana
free me chipka dungaย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Ek bahut sundar ladki bus me baithi thi

Bagal me baitha ladka use ghur rha tha

Ladki ne purse se ek samosa nikala
aur samose ke andar ka masala khane lagi

Ladka โ€“ Aap masala hi kyu kha rhi hain
pura samosa kha lo

Ladki โ€“ nahi muje doctor ne
bahar ki chize khane se mana kiya haiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰

Ladka behoshโ€ฆ


Patni โ€“ Aaj ke bad me tumse kabi
bat nahi karungi

Pati โ€“ Very Good

Patni โ€“ tum janna nahi chahoge ki
me bat kyu nahi karna chahti

Pati โ€“ nahi janeman

me tumhare har faisle ki ijjat karta huย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Teacher โ€“ aaj me tumse sawal puchungi

Pappu โ€“ ji puchiye

Teacher โ€“ aap se milkar khushi hui
aisa kisne kaha ?

Pappu โ€“ ji khushi ke papa ne khushi ki
mammi se kaha

Teacher behoshย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Santa ghabrate hue police station gaya

Santa โ€“ me girftar hone ja rha hu

Banta โ€“ kyu bhai tumne kya kiya ?

Santa โ€“ mene apni biwi ke sar pe
jor se danda mar diya tha

Banta โ€“ to wo mar gyi kya bechari

Santa โ€“ nahi bach gyi
aur ab wo muje nahi choregiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Doctor apni biwi baccho ke sath
aram se so rha tha

tabhi ek phone aaya

Aadmi โ€“ doctor sahab aapne muje
jo dawai di thi

usne meri ultiya to band ho gyi
lekin saans bahut teji se chal rhi hai

Doctor (gusse me) โ€“ chinta mat kro
subah tak wo bi band ho jayegiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Madam โ€“ Exam aane wale hain
aaj ham English padhenge

Bacche โ€“ Ok madam

Madam โ€“ A se Apple
aur btao A se ?

Pappu โ€“ A se muje na dekho
sine se laga lungaย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Ladki dukhi hoke doctor ke pas gyi

Ladki โ€“ Doctor sahab mera pura sar dard
kar rha hai

Doctor โ€“ oh fir to city scan karna pdega

Ladki โ€“ are dard mere sar me hai,,

puri city ko scan karne ki kya jarurat hai ?
Doctor behoshย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Premika โ€“ Me kab se tumhra intjar kar rhi hu

Paremi โ€“ Sorry janu thoda late ho gaya tha

Premika โ€“ tumhe kya pata ki

intjar ki ghadi kitni lambi hoti hai

Premi โ€“ to dusri company ki ghdi khrid lo na janu
Breakupย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Police ne aadhi raat me darwaja khatkhtaya

Police โ€“ darwaja kholo jldi

Patni โ€“ kaun hai itni raat me

Police โ€“ ham pulis wale hain
aapke pati ka accident ho gya hai
truck ke niche aake papad ban gya hai

Patni โ€“ to darwaje ke niche se hi sarka do na
darwaja kholne ki kya jarurat haiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Santa Raat ko girlfriend se milne gaya

Jaise hi darwaja khatkhtaya

Sapna โ€“ kaun hai ?

Santa โ€“ me hu

Sapna โ€“ me kaun ?

Santa โ€“ are ullu ki patthi, tu sapna aur kaunย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Bank ka manager hotel me khana khane gya

Manager โ€“ khane me kya kya hai

Waitor โ€“ ji tanduri chicken, malai kofta, matar panir,
kadhai panir, dam aalu, mix veg, aalo gobi

Manager โ€“ matar panir aur 4 roti le aao

Waitor โ€“ lekin sab kuch khtm ho chuka hai
abhi kuch nahi hai

Manager (gusse me) โ€“ to sale itni der se
bak kyu rha tha phle hi bata deta

Waitor โ€“ manager sahab, me roj ATM jata hu
wo ATM mujhse pin code, amount, receipt sab kuch puchta hai
aur last me bolta hai โ€“ โ€œNo Cashโ€

ab samaj me aaya muje us time kaisa lagta haiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Pinki โ€“ yaar lagta hai mera pati
mujhse bewafai kar rha hai

Chinki โ€“ kyu tuje aisa kyu laga ?

Pinki โ€“ kal raat wo ghar nahi aaya
mene pucha to bola apne dost bablu ke ghar pe hun

Chinki -to kya hua ?

Pinki โ€“ are bablu ke ghar to main thi naย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Santa singh apni girlfriend ko leke
hotel me gya

Santa โ€“ bolo jaan kya mangau ?

Girlfriend โ€“ mere liye to pizza manga lo
aur apne liye ambulance manga lo

Santa โ€“ are ambulance kyu ?

Girlfriend โ€“ piche dekho tumhari biwi khadi haiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Ladki โ€“ baba muje to sardi me bi garmi lagti hai

Nirmal baba โ€“ beti parathe khati ho kya ?

Ladki โ€“ ha

Nirmal Baba โ€“ kaun se tel me banati ho ?

Ladki โ€“ refined me

Nirmal Baba โ€“ bas yhi dikkat hai
navratn tel me bnaya kro
kripa aani shuru ho jayegi
thanda thanda cool coolย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Santa ne rah chalti ladki ko kiss kar diya

Judge โ€“ tume 1000 rupye ki saja di jati hai

Santa โ€“ me ek aur kiss kar lu kya ?

Judge (gusse me) โ€“ kyu ?

Santa โ€“ are mere pas chutte nahi hain na
2000 ka hi note haiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Pappu subah subah mandir gaya

Baba โ€“ beta 10 rupaye de de

Pappu ne 10 rupye de diye

Baba โ€“ baba tujhse khush hua baccha
mang kya mangta hai

Pappu โ€“ 20 rupye de de
baba behoshย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Teacher โ€“ aaj me tumko noun padhaungi

Teacher โ€“ pappu tu khada ho

Pappu โ€“ ji madam

Teacher โ€“ ladki sabse hans ke baat kar rhi hai
isme ladki kya hai ?

Pappu โ€“ ji ladki bigdi hui hai
setting krna chahti haiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Pappu โ€“ papa jldi se taiyar ho jao

Papa โ€“ kyu ?

Pappu โ€“ are aaj ladki wale muje dekhne aa rhe hain

Papa โ€“ abe tujhe kisne kaha ?

Pappu โ€“ are wo pados me uncle hai na
mene unki ladki ko ched diya to wo bole-
โ€œdekh lenge tujheโ€ย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Patni โ€“ naya ghar banne me abi 6 mahine aur lag jayenge

Pati โ€“ are nahi me char aadmi aur laga dunga
jldi ban jayega

Beta โ€“ mammi me kitne din me paida hua tha

Mammi โ€“ 9 mahine me beta

Beta โ€“ are kyu char aadmi aur laag leti naย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Tamatar aur pyaj ki gahari dosti thi

Tamatar โ€“ tujhe khane ke bad muh se badbu kyu aati hai

Pyaj โ€“ me nahati nahi hu naa

Tamatar โ€“ kyun nahi nahati

Pyaj โ€“ kaise nahau kapde utarte utarte hi sham ho jati haiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Ladki boyfriend ke sath park me baithi thi

Boyfriend โ€“

tumahre mulayam hath dekhkar muje
ek khyal aa rha hai

Ladki โ€“ kya khyal aa rha hai janeman

Boyfriend โ€“ yhi ki itne lambe nakhuno se khujati ho
ya sabjiya katti hoโ€ฆย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Pinki rote hue ghar aayi

Maa โ€“ kya hua ro kyu rhi hai

Pinki โ€“ pappu ne muje kiss kiya

Maa gusse me โ€“ kyun uski itni himmat

Pinki โ€“ haa, mene to bas usse ye pucha tha ki
tere mammi papa kya krte hainย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Santa Amrood bech rha tha
ek rupye ki do, ek rupye ki do

Banta โ€“ kya de rhe ho bhai ?

Santa โ€“ dikhta nahi amrood hai
ek rupye ki do, ek rupye ki do

Banta โ€“ kya de rhe ho bhai ?

Santa (gusse me) โ€“ pichwade pe laat chahiye kyaย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Ek Ladki bhut der se bus stop pe khdi thi
aadmi โ€“ kaha jana hai madem aapko

ladki โ€“ bhia chandni chauk kaun si bus jati hai
aadmi โ€“ 21 number ki

fir wo aadmi waha se chala gya
1 gnte bad-
aadmi โ€“ madem aap abi tak gyi nahi ?

ladki โ€“ are 18 bus jaa chuki hai 2 aur chali jaye
fir aayegi 21 number ki busย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚

aadmi behosh


Ek aurat doctor ke paas gyi
Aurat โ€“ doctor sahab mere pati 3 din se bhut bimar hain

Doctor โ€“ pati ko kyu nahi layi

aurat โ€“ wo ghar ka kam kar rhe hain

doctor โ€“ me ye dawai de rha hu inhe khate hi nind aa jaygi

aurat โ€“ ye dawaiya unhe kab deni hai ?

doctor โ€“ ye unke liye nahi tumhare liye hai
chupchap kha ke so


Beti school se wapas aa rhi thi
maa โ€“ lagta hai tu hamara naam duboyegi

Beti โ€“ kyu maa aisa kyu laga

Maa โ€“ wo bangali ladka tera hath pakde hue tha
tune use mana kyu nahi kiya

Beti โ€“ me kaise mana karti maa
muje bangali bolni nhi aati naย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Ek ladki diwali ki shopping karne gyi
Ladki โ€“ bhaia accha sa haar dikhao

Dukandar โ€“ ye lijiye ekdam naya brand hai

Ladki โ€“ nahi koi anguthi dikhao

Dukandar โ€“ madam aap ek hafte se roj
aise hi sab kuch dekh kar chali jati ho
kuch leti kyu nahi ?

Ladki โ€“ bhaia me to roj kuch na kuch leke jati hu
aap dhyan nahi deteย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Pati Patni ek movie dekh rhe the
jisme hero heroin ko pyar kar rha tha

Patni โ€“ dekho ji ye log kitna pyar karte hain

Pati โ€“ to me kya kru ?

Patni โ€“ aap to nahi karte muje itna pyar

Pati โ€“ ye hero ki biwi nahi hai
tu bi apni bahan se puch ke dekh
me kitna pyar karta hu..ย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Santa โ€“ Yaar thode paise udhar de de

Banta โ€“ bhai mere paas bi paise nahi hai

Santa โ€“ yaar muje paise ki bahut jarurat hai kya karu

Banta โ€“ muje ek mantr aata hai
jisko roj 10 bar bolne se paisa hi paisa aane lagta hai

Santa โ€“ to jldi bta na

Banta โ€“ Road ke bicho bich khde hoke ye mantra bolo โ€“

โ€œBhagwanโ€ ke naam pe de de babaโ€ฆ.


Santa โ€“ yaar meri biwi badi bholi hai

Banta โ€“ kaise bhai

Santa โ€“ are bechari kitna darti hai
badi darpok hai

Banta โ€“ kyu bhai

Santa โ€“ are bechari bathroom me nhane bi
security gaurd ko sath lekar jati hai


Ladka girlfriend ko lekar hotel me gaya

Ladka โ€“ bolo janeman khane me kya mangau

Ladki โ€“ tum manga lo me abi toilet hokar aati hu
mera mobile apne pas rkhna..

Ladka โ€“ thik hai

Achanak ladka ladki ke number par phon karta hai
ki dekhta hu mera number kis name se save hai
jaise hi call kiya
screen per naam aaya โ€“ โ€œMurga no. 3 is callingโ€


Ek bar nano car and maruti car aapas me mile

Nano โ€“ dekha me kitni sasti hu

Maruti โ€“ ha lekin ek bat samaj nahi aayi

Nano โ€“ kya ?

Maruti โ€“ teri aakhe (head light) itni bahar kyu nikli hui hai

Nano rote hue โ€“ agar tere pichvade par engine rkha hota
tab tujhe pata chaltaโ€ฆย ๐Ÿ™‚


Ek aurat thali leke mandir jaa rhi thi

Achanak ek aadmi aata hai aur bolta hai

Aadmi โ€“ bahan ji pinki aapki hi beti hai na ?

Aurat โ€“ haa to

Aadmi โ€“ aapko pata hai aapki beti college jane ke
bahane kaha jati hai

Aurat โ€“ mere ko kya

Aadmi โ€“ lekin wo to aapki beti hai

Aurat โ€“ to firย  tere ko kya ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Gajodhar mantri sahab ke paas gaya

Mantri โ€“ ha to kya samsya hai tumhari

Gajodhar โ€“ gaanv me barish nahi ho rhi hai

Mantri โ€“ to isme ham kya kre ?

Gajodhar โ€“ suna hai ab sara kam computer se ho jata hai

Mantri โ€“ haa to ?

Gajodhar โ€“ to thoda pani download karwa dijiye naย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Pinki apni saheli ke ghar gyi

Pinki โ€“ Yaar kal mere boyfriend ka bโ€™day hai

Chinki โ€“ wowww

Pinki โ€“ use kya gift hu ?

Chinki โ€“ paise wala hai kya ?

Pinki โ€“ haa paise wala hai

Chinki โ€“ to use mera number de deย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Sardar kele kharidne gaya

Sardar โ€“ ek kela kitne ka hai bhai ?

Dukanwala โ€“ 10 rupaye ka

Sardar โ€“ 4 rupye me de de

Dukandar โ€“ 4 rupaye me chilka dunga

Sardar โ€“ ye le 6 rupaye sirf kela de de
chilka tu rakh leย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚
sardar hai bada asardarโ€ฆ.


Santa bhaga hua doctor ke paas gaya

Santa โ€“ Doctor sahab badi mushibat me fans gya hu

Doctor โ€“ Aram se baitho mujhe btao

Santa โ€“ muje aajkal nudal jaise potty aati hai..

Doctor โ€“ thik hai me check krta hu

Doctor- Sale potty karte time chaddi utar liya kar
teri chaddi me ched hainย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Santa apni pados ki aurat ko kiss kar rha tha

Ladki โ€“ ek aur kro na

Santa โ€“ nahi dar lag rha hai
tumhara pati banta na aa jaye

Ladki โ€“ are nahi aayega

Santa โ€“ kyu

Ladki โ€“ wo tumhare ghar me tumri biwi
ko pyar kar rha haiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Pati Patni sath lete the

Pati โ€“ Janu me tumse mafi mangna chahta hu

Patni โ€“ Kyu darling?

Pati โ€“ Jab me tumko pyar karta hu
to padosan ke bare me sochta rhta hu

Patni โ€“ tumne muje dhokha diya hai
me to jab bi padosi se pyar karti hu
to tumhare bare me hi sochti rhti huย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Ek aurat bacche ko sula rhi thi,

Aurat โ€“ So ja diploma so ja..

Santa โ€“ O Tai tu ye
bacche ko diploma kyu kah rhi hai..

Aurat โ€“ ye diploma hi to hai

Santa โ€“ kaise?

Aurat โ€“ Hamari beti shahar diploma lene gyi thi
ye leke aayi isliye yhi diploma hai..ย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Banta ki biwi badi sundar thi

Santa โ€“ Yar tera birthday kab aata hai?

Banta โ€“ 9 October ko, lekin kyu?

Santa โ€“ Yar tuje gift me parde dunga,,
Khidki se tujhe aur teri biwi ko kiss karte dekhkar
bor ho gaya hu,,

Banta โ€“ Tera janmdin kab hai?

Santa โ€“ 25 October ko, kyu?

Banta โ€“ tujhe durbeen gift dunga,,
taki tu dekh sake ki wo biwi kiski hai,,ย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Pati apni naukrani se pyar karta tha

Ek din chupke se naukrani ko kis kar rha tha

Pati โ€“ Tum meri biwi se bi jyada sundar ho

Naukrani โ€“ Jhuth mat bolo malik

Pati โ€“ nahi sach bol rha hun

Naukrani โ€“ Accha driver to bol rha tha
memsab hi jyada sundar haiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Pati fati lungi pahan ke khana kha rha tha

Pati โ€“ Jara ghee ka dabba lana

Patni โ€“ ye lo thoda hi nikalna

Pati โ€“ Are isme to bas ek hi chammach ghee hai

Patni โ€“ to bas sungh lo,
ise abi ek hafta aur chalana haiย ๐Ÿ™‚


Patni Pati ne naraj hokar so rahi thi

Pati ko subah 5 baje jldi uthna tha

Usne ek kagaj par likha-
โ€œMujhe subah jaldi utha denaโ€

Aur kagaj patni ke takiye ke niche rakhkar so gaya

Ab subah 10 baje aakh khuli

to ek kagaj takiye ke niche mila jispe likha tha-
โ€œUtho, jldi utho 5 baj gaye haiโ€


Biwi ghar pe TV dekh rhi thi

Pati โ€“ Kya dekh rhi ho?

Biwi โ€“ Cooking Show..

Pati โ€“ Din bhar cooking show dekhti ho
Khana bnana to aaya nahi fir bi..

Biwi โ€“ tum bi to
โ€œKaun Banega Karorpatiโ€ dekhte ho
Maine kuch kahaย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚
Pati Shantโ€ฆ


Santa: oye lo paaji mithai khao,

Banta: mithai kis khushi me?

Santa: are mera beta first aya hai.

Banta: achha kisme?

Santa:
.
.
.
.
Rajadhani express meย ๐Ÿ™‚


Patni new dress pahan kar aai

patni: darling main kaisi lag rahi hoon?

pati: meri jaan apsara lag rahi ho.

Patni: ye dress hajaro me ek hai.

pati: darling tumne yah dress mujhe khush karne ke liye pahni hai na?

patni:
.
.
.
.
.
nahi yah to maine padosi ko jalaane ke liye pahni haiย ๐Ÿ˜€ย ๐Ÿ™‚


patni: hay ram tumher sar se khun kyon nikal rha hai?

pati: are mere dost ne itt mar di.

patni: aap bhi mar dete apke hath me kuch nahi tha kya?

pati: mere hath me uski bivi ka hath tha.ย ๐Ÿ™‚
ho gai dhulaaiย ๐Ÿ™‚


Film me shahruk kajol se pyar kar rha tha

patni: dekho ji shahruk kajol ko kitna pyar kar rha hai

pati: to main kya karu?

patni: tum to aise pyar nahi karte

pati:.
.
.
.
.
.
usko pyar karne ka 50 lakh milta hai
tu 10 hajar de
usse acha karunga.ย ๐Ÿ˜€ย ๐Ÿ˜€ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Santa ki biwi mayke chali gyi

santa raat ko apni girlfriend ko apne ghar le aaya

subah santa chay leke bistar pe aaya

Santa โ€“ utho janu, ab tumko wo hoga
jise โ€œbacchaโ€ kahte hain

Girlfriend โ€“ aur tumko wo hoga jise

โ€œAidsโ€ kahte hai

Santa behoshย ๐Ÿ™‚


bazaar me santa ki kisi ne pithai kar di.

santa: ruk tujhe abhi batata hoon.
santa bhag kar medical store me gyaa

santa: bheya goli dena

medical wala: sar dard ya badan dard ki?

santa:
.
.
.
.
.
koi bhi de de
mujhe to banduk me dalni haiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜€


kyon dukhi ho bhai

banta: yar meri bivi kal beauty parler gai thi
ab tak nahi lauti

santa: to police me report likha de na

banta: nahi mere yar bivi gum hone ki report nahi likha skta

santa: kyon?

banta:.
.
.
.
.
kuch din pahle bike gum ho gai thi
to police walo ne 15 din chala kar wapas lotai thi.


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