Patni ne subah subah pati ko uthaya ,

Patni โ€“ suno ji, mene sapna dekha ki aap mere
liye heero ka haar lekar aaye hain

Pati โ€“ to fir se ek bar so jao,
aur sapne me bhi haar pahan bhi loย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Santa Banta ne ek ladki ko kidnap kar liya
fir uske papa ko phone lagya

Santa โ€“ hello teri beti hamare kabje me hai

Papa โ€“ are lekin mere pas paise nahi hain

Santa โ€“ abe paise ham de rhe hain

tuje to bas chutte karane hain.. ??


Dost โ€“ Accha bata chawal se barf kaise banaye

Dusra โ€“ Pata nahi tu bata

Dost โ€“ Abe โ€˜RICEโ€™ me se โ€˜Rโ€™ nikal de

ban gaya ICEย ๐Ÿ™‚


Santa โ€“ Yaar suna hai,

Hamare purvah bandar the,

Banta โ€“ pata nahi yaar,

Tere purvaj honge,
hamare to sardar ji hi the.


Kaun kahta hai aurte
apni galti nahi manti

Meri wali to roj kahti hai

ki galti ho gyi tumse shaadi karke


Bahu โ€“ Maa Ji..
Aaj khana aap hi bana do na,
mere sar me bahut dard hai

Saas โ€“ Bahut juth bolti hai kamini
bana diya maine kab ka ?

Bahu โ€“ Aapko kaise pata chala ki
main jhuth bol rhi hu ??

Saas โ€“ kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thiโ€ฆ


Sasural me damad ki itni ijjat kyu hoti hai?

kyunki wo sab jante hai ki,

yahi wo aadmi hai
jisne ghar ke tufan ko sambhal rkha hai


Pati โ€“ Me dobara shadi krunga

Patni โ€“ kyu ji? kya hua

Pati โ€“ kyunki yaar
shaadi wali photo pe like bahut kam aaye hain

Patni โ€“ behoshย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™


Pati ke aate hi patni chahak kar boli โ€“

Patni โ€“ dekho ji,
aapke liye nayi shirt layi hu

Pati โ€“ wah kitne ki?

Patni โ€“ 2500 ki saree ke sath freeย ๐Ÿ™‚

Patiย ๐Ÿ™ย ๐Ÿ™ย (lag gya choona)


Santa โ€“ Aaj mene pani ko buddhu bana diya
pani garm kiya,

Pani ne socha hoga ki ab me nahaunga
lekin me nahaya hi nahi

Banta โ€“ Are mene to aaj pure pariwar
ko hi buddhu bana diya

Bathroom me nahane ke liye gaya aur
bas kapde badal kar bahar aa gayaย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Teacher โ€“ Tum kal school kyu nahi aaye the ?

Ladka โ€“ Ji wo,
kal mere ghar me pooja thi

Teacher โ€“ To parso kyu nahi aaye the ?

Ladka โ€“ Ji parso mere ghar me priya thiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚
Teacher Behoshย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Teacher โ€“ Durbhagy aur Durdasha me kya fark hai ?

Baccha โ€“ Sir agar is school me aag lag jaye

to school ki halat khrab ho jayegi ise kahte hain โ€“ โ€˜Durdashaโ€™

aur itni aag lagne par bhi aap jinda bach gaye to

ye hoga hamara โ€˜Durbhagyโ€™ย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ™‚

Teacher Behosh


Patni sabji lete samay pati se boli,

Patni โ€“ 2 kilo matar le lu ?

Pati โ€“ le loโ€ฆ

Patni โ€“ Me tumhari raay nahi maang rhi hu,
puch rhi hu,
kya chil loge itni ??

pati behoshย ๐Ÿ™‚


Baap โ€“ Tum Meri Beti Se Kab Se Pyar Karte Ho ?

Ladka โ€“ Pichle 6 Mahino Se..

Baap โ€“ Magar Main Kaise Yakin Kru ?

Ladka โ€“ Uncle, 3 Mahine aur Ruk Jao..ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Santa โ€“ Yaar me gharwalo se bada preshan hu

Banta โ€“ kyu ?

Santa โ€“ Are unko ghadi me time tak dekhna nahi ata

Banta โ€“ matlab ?

Santa โ€“ Subah-subah mujhe jabardasti utha dete hain
aur bolte hain โ€“

โ€œUth Jaโ€ฆ Dekh Kitna Time Ho Gayaโ€ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Patni โ€“ Suno Ji Aaj Se Tum Rojana Sharab Piya Kro

Pati โ€“ Kyu ?

Patni โ€“ Kyunki Aap Nashe Me Jyada Kam Karte Hoโ€ฆ

Pati โ€“ Me Kuch Samjha Nahi ?

Patni โ€“ Are Kal Tum Sharab Pikar Ghar Aaye To
Nashe Me Sare Gande Pade Bartan Dho Dale
Aur to Aurโ€ฆ Aapne Mere Paanv Bhi Dabaye


Motu โ€“ Yar Kal Se Pet Me Dard Hai

Doctor โ€“ Khana Kaha Khate Ho?

Motu โ€“ Rojana Hotel Me Hi Khata Hu

Doctor โ€“ Are Rojana Hotel Me
Khana Mat Khaya Kro

Motu โ€“ Ohh
Thik Hai Ab Pack Kra Ke Ghar Le Aaya Krungaย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰
Doctor Behosh..ย ๐Ÿ™‚


Santa โ€“ Yar Mere Board Ke Exam Shuru Hone Wale Hain

Banta โ€“ Abe to Darta Kyu Hain?

Santa โ€“ Sab Bolte Hain Dasvi Ka Exam Hi
Sabse Important Hain

Banta โ€“ Abe Jyada Tension Mat Le
10 vi Ki Marksheet to Bas Janmtithi Dekhne Ke Kam Aati Haiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Subah Subah Feri Wala Awaj Laga Raha Tha

Chakoo Churiya Tej Kra Loโ€ฆ
Chakoo Churiya Tej Kra Loโ€ฆ

Mahila โ€“ Bhaiya Akal Bhi Tej Karte Ho Kya ?

Feri Wala โ€“ Ha Bahan Ji,
Akal Ho To Le Aaiyeย ๐Ÿ™‚


Bandar Ki Beti Bandar Se Boliโ€ฆ

Beti โ€“ Papa Meri Shaadi Kara Do

Bandar โ€“ Are Meri Beti..
Thoda Dhire Bol..
Thoda Sabr Kar..

Dekh Abhi Tera Dulha Message Padh Raha Haiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰

***Hans Gaye To Samjho Rishta Pakka***


Patni Ne Apne Pati Ko Phone Lagaya

Patni โ€“ Kaha Ho ?
Office Phuch Gaye Kya ?

Pati โ€“ Are Mera Car Se Accident Ho Gya Hai
Meri Tang Tut Gyi Hai
Hospital Ja Rha Hu

Patni โ€“ Achha Thik Hai, Jao

Tifin Ka Dhyan Rkhna Teda Na Ho Jaye
Nahi To Daal Gir Jayegiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Mahakanjus Seth Apne Baccho Se Bola,

Kanjus โ€“ Jo Aaj Sham Khana Nahi Khayega
Use Me 10 Rupee Dunga

Tino Bete 10-10 Rupee Leke Bina Khana Khaye So Gaye

Kanjus Subah Bola โ€“

Ab Jo 10 Rupee Dega
Kewal Usi Ko Nashta Milega

Bacche Pareshan


Teacher โ€“ Accha baccho batao

Driver aur conductor me kya fark
hota hai

Pappu โ€“ Guru ji,
conductor so gaya to kisi ka ticket nahi katega

lekin agar driver so gaya
to sabka ticket kat jayega

Master Behoshย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Teacher โ€“ Duniya me do sabse bade network
kaun kaun se hain ?

Pappu โ€“ ji sabse bade network hain

1. Email
2. Female

Sala palak jhapkte hi
idhar ki baat udhar pahucha deti hainย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰

Teacher behosh ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Ladki โ€“ Bhaiya muje chappal leni hai

Dukandar โ€“ ye dekho bahan ji naya design

Ladki โ€“ aur dikhao
ye nahi
aur dikhao

Dukandar โ€“ bahan ji ab to sari chappal dikha di
ab to koi nahi bachi

Ladki โ€“ are bhaiya wo ek aur dibba rkha hai na

Dukandar โ€“ raham kro bahan ji
wo mera lunch ka dibba haiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Pappu ne apne baap ko tamacha mara

Padosi โ€“ are aapka beta
aap par hi hath utha deta hai

Bapu โ€“ kya kru

ye sala apni maa par gaya hai

Padosi Behoshย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Ladki bus stop par khadi thi
tabhi ek motorcycle ruki

Ladka โ€“ Madam suniye

Ladki โ€“ kaho

Ladka โ€“ muje chandni chawk jana hai

Ladki โ€“ to jao na bhaiya..
aise sabko btate chaloge to pahuchoge kabย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰

Ladka whi behosh ho gayaย ๐Ÿ™‚


Teacher โ€“ โ€œKhushi ka thikana na rhaโ€
is muhavre ka kya matlab hai ?

Pappu โ€“ khushi ghar walo se chipkar
rojana apne boyfriend se milne jati thi

ek din uske papa ne boyfriend ke sath dekh liya
aur khusi ko ghar se nikal diya

ab bechari โ€œkhushi ka thikana na rhaโ€ย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰

Teacher behoshย ๐Ÿ™


Bhel puri hoti hai

Halwa puri bi hoti hai

aur pani puri bi hoti hai

bas sali nind puri nahi hotiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Pati โ€“ tum khana banana bhul gyi ho kya

Patni โ€“ kyu

Pati โ€“ thu thu kitni gandi sabji bnayi hai

Patni โ€“ chupchap kha lo

meri isi sabji ko facebook par 389 logo
ne like kiya

aur 107 logo ne share kiya

aur 129 logo ne comment kiya โ€“ โ€œwaoo yammiโ€

bas aapko hi mera khana pasand nahi aataย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Pati โ€“ Aaj daal me badi ajib
gandh aa rhi hai

Patni โ€“ dhaniya, pudina, kali mirch
dal ke bnayi hai

Pati (daal khake) โ€“ thu thu
dhanya, pudina, kali mirch kaha se layi thi

Patni โ€“ are muje bajar jane ka samay hi
nahi mila isliye mene..

โ€œPatanjali Toothpasteโ€ mila diya usme sare gun hainย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Ladki โ€“ Muje gana gana bhut pasand hai

Ladka โ€“ o matlab aap singer ho

Ladki โ€“ nahi me bas bathroom singer hu

Ladka โ€“ o to hame bulao kabhi

aapka gana live sunna haiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Patni โ€“ Suniye aap aaj hi ke din
muje dekhte aaye the na

Pati โ€“ yaad nahi

Patni โ€“ aapko yaad hai mene us din kaun se
color ki sadi phn rkhi thi

Pati โ€“ nahi

Patni โ€“ aapko mujhse jara bhi pyar nahi hai

Pati โ€“ are yaar jab koi aadmi train ki patri
par marne jata hai to
ye thode hi dekhta hai ki gadi kaun se color ki aayegiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Bapu โ€“ tu fail kaise ho gaya

Beta โ€“ bapu paper me sawal hi
aise aise aaye the jo muje pata nahi the

Bapu โ€“ fir tune uttar kaise likhe ?

Beta โ€“ mene bhi uttar aise aise likhe

jo master ko bhi pata nahi theย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Ladka โ€“ aapke paas itni badi car hai

Ladki โ€“ haa ham ameer hain na

Ladka โ€“ are itne mahnga mobile bhi hai

Ladki โ€“ haa ham ameer hain na

Ladka โ€“ itna mahnga sone ka haal bi hai

Ladki โ€“ haa ham ameer hain na

Ladka โ€“ chalo hamare sath gadi me baitho

Ladki โ€“ kyu ?

Ladka โ€“ hmm chor hain naย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Patni โ€“ itne saal ho gaye shadi ko
aaj tak kuch nahi diya

Pati โ€“ dil to diya hai
aur kya chahiye

Patni โ€“ nahi janu
koi sone ki chiz dilao na

Pati โ€“ chalo sham ko naya takiya la dunga

Khub maje se sonaย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Master โ€“ kamino padhai shuru kr do
paper aane wale hain

Pappu โ€“ me to khub padhai karta hu
kuch bhi puch lo

Master โ€“ bata tajmahal kisne bnaya

Pappu โ€“ mistri ne

Master โ€“ abe gadhe matlab kisne banwaya

Pappu โ€“ thekedar ne banwaya hogaย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Papa โ€“ mera beta mere se jyada pyar karta hai

Mammi โ€“ jao jao ye mujhse jyada pyar karta hai

Papa โ€“ accha chalo bete ko
chupke se patthar marte hain

wo darkar mammi ko awaj lagayega
ya papa koโ€ฆ.

Jisko awaj lagayi wo jitega..

Mammi โ€“ thik hai

jaise hi patthar mara

Beta โ€“ kaun hai be kamine
bahar aa teri aisi taisi karta huย ๐Ÿ™‚


Ek khubsurat si ladki
medical store par gyi

Ladki โ€“ Bhaiya ye wali dawai dena

Medical wala โ€“ ye lo

Ladki โ€“ bhaiya chini to do

Medical wala โ€“ Madam yaha chini nahi milti

Ladki โ€“ pagal mat banao

dwai par saaf saaf likha hai โ€“ โ€œSugar freeโ€
ab to me chini leke hi jaungiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Ladki aate hi ladke se gale lag gyi

Ladka โ€“ aaj bada pyar aa rha hai

Ladki โ€“ janu aaj promise day hai na

Ladka โ€“ to kya kare janu

Ladki โ€“ tum mujhse koi promise kro na

Ladka โ€“ accha dekho wo samne
red color ki car khdi hai na

Ladki โ€“ haan haan janu.. muje wo doge kya

Ladka โ€“ nahi usi color ki lipstick dilaunga
ye mera wada haiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Ek aurat chunav me khadi hui

Saheli โ€“ waah bahan tu to chunav lad rhi hai

Aurat โ€“ haa aur dekhna me pakka jitungi

Saheli โ€“ aachha tuje ye
chunav ladne ka khyal kha se aaya

Aurat โ€“ are jab bhi meri apne pati se
ladai hoti hai
to me hi to jitti huย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Aadmi sharab pi kar gadi chala rha tha

achanak gadi ek khambe se takra gyi

Police โ€“ bahar nikal sale

Aadmi โ€“ maf kr do daroga ji

Police โ€“ sale saru pi ke gadi chalata hai
muh khol..

Aadmi โ€“ are nahi saab
phle se khub pi rkhi hai aur kitna pilaogeย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Billu โ€“ Papa muje madam roj
maar lagati hain

Papa โ€“ tu dar mat bete
tu to sher ka baccha hai

Billu โ€“ madam bhi yahi khti hai

Papa โ€“ kya

Billu โ€“ ki jane kis janwar ki aulad hai
kuch padhta hi nahiย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Santa โ€“ Bhai aaj to gazab ho gaya

Banta โ€“ Lottery lag gyi kya paji

Santa โ€“ oye nahi me bus me baitha tha
tabhi ek aadmi aaya aur sale ne
phone me rashtrgaan chala diya

Banta โ€“ fir ?

Santa โ€“ fir kya rashtrgaan sunte hi
me khada ho gya aur

wo kamina meri seat par baith gyaย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Pati โ€“ tum itna kyu chillati ho

Patni โ€“ kyuki har bar galti
tum hi karte ho

Pati โ€“ kash tu ek bakri hoti

Patni โ€“ to fir kya karte ?

Pati โ€“ fir me tujhse puchta ki
bata kaun jyada galti krta hai

aur tum chilla ke bolti-
โ€œmaiiโ€ฆmaiinnn..maiiiiโ€ฆโ€


Santa pahli bar hawai jahaj me gaya

Jaise hi hawai jahaj udne ko hua

Ek khubsurat si air hostess aayi

Air hostess โ€“ krpya sabi log
apni apni belt bandh le

Santa โ€“ par madam me to
pajama pahn ke aaya hu

me kya karuย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Dadi apni shadi ki video dekh rhi thi

Pota โ€“ Dadi ye aadmi kaun hai ?

Dadi โ€“ are yahi to tere dada hain

Pota โ€“ dada to itne smart lag rhe hain

fir aap is buddhe ke sath kyu rhti hoย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Ladki โ€“ Yaar kal to me bahut pareshan ho gyi

Boyfriend โ€“ wo kaise ?

Ladki โ€“ yaar bus stop par ek ghante
tak bus hi nahi aayi
fir mene BMW khridi

Boyfriend โ€“ wawwo tumne BMW khrid li kya ?

Ladki โ€“ aur kya BMW yani Bisleri Mineral Water
are bahut tej pyas lagi thi naย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Chinki โ€“ Aaja bahan mandir chale

Pinki โ€“ Chal bahan aur bhagwaan
se dua krna ki me is baar
fail ho jau

Chinki โ€“ par tu fail hona
kyu chahti hai ?

Pinki โ€“ Papa ne kaha hai

paas ho gyi to scooty dilaunga
aur fail ho gyi to shaadi kra dungaย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


Pinki โ€“ Doctor sahab muje badi
ajib si bimari lag gyi hai

Doctor โ€“ kaun si

Pinki โ€“ jab me kisi se bat karti hu
to wo mujhe dikhayi nahi deta

Doctor โ€“ ohh aisa kab kab hota hai

Pinki โ€“ jab kisi se phone pe
baat krti hu tabย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰

Doctor abi tak behosh hai


Pati ruthkar โ€“ tum mera jara bi
dhyan nahi rkhte

Pati โ€“ are ek tum hi to ho

jo mere is ghar ko swarg bana sakti ho

Patni โ€“ Sachmuch darlingโ€ฆ.kaise ?

Pati โ€“ Mayake Jakarย ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜‰


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